I met Helen in 1996. She was a pleasant, attractive 72 year old lady who appeared on initial meeting to be a healthy lady. She was diabetic(on insulin) since her youth but obviously bright and knowledgable about her condition. I met her at a class I was running called Healthy Heart. It was a four week class designed to help individuals with heart disease manage their condition better. She was attentive and interactive at our initial sessions. She was having frequent chest pains which had not been relieved with standard medical interventions. She had seen doctors and had the full medical evaluation including an angiogram which demonstrated coronary artery blockages which were deemed not remediable by angioplasty,etc. She came to the class in an effort to find a solution to her debilitating symptoms. She was managing her symptoms with medicines but not doing very well. I had recently learned about the role of suppressed emotions in heart disease and was eager to pursue this avenue in trying to help the class participants. I encouraged the participants to share their stories in this small group format as I had been taught this could help people.
One day about half way through the four week class, Helen shared her story. Her adult son (Bob) had drowned in a river in a tragic accident nine years previous to our class. She told the story and its aftermath with courage and strength but with a huge flow of emotion. She wept openly and powerfully. The amazing part of the story was that it was the first time she had spoken of her loss in the past 9 years. Her husband could not deal with the loss and thus had forbidden her to discuss it, share it in any way or deal with it outside of herself. She was a strong and capable woman and she followed his lead and burried her pain and the loss of her son.
The class was floored and awed by the story. They rallied around Helen that day and for the following weeks. The love and support given to Helen was honest, real and compassionate. Everyone in the class felt her deep and buried pain and could not hold her and love her enough. The last day of the class was dedicated to her son and Helen's struggle to hold in her pain. It was a celebration of his and her life. The entire class did not want the connection that they had made to end. Future meetings were arranged informally and formally so that Helen could continue to be supported.
Helen took to this love and nurturing like a fish returned to water. Amazingly, her chronic chest pains resolved over the following weeks. She visibly changed appearing lighter and happier. Her blood pressure and sugar control improved. She was truly transformed. She continued her new open, connecting style over the next months and years. She became an advocate of "opening your emotional heart" with others and participated freely in support groups designed to continually help herself and share the benefit with fellow strugglers.
One day about half way through the four week class, Helen shared her story. Her adult son (Bob) had drowned in a river in a tragic accident nine years previous to our class. She told the story and its aftermath with courage and strength but with a huge flow of emotion. She wept openly and powerfully. The amazing part of the story was that it was the first time she had spoken of her loss in the past 9 years. Her husband could not deal with the loss and thus had forbidden her to discuss it, share it in any way or deal with it outside of herself. She was a strong and capable woman and she followed his lead and burried her pain and the loss of her son.
The class was floored and awed by the story. They rallied around Helen that day and for the following weeks. The love and support given to Helen was honest, real and compassionate. Everyone in the class felt her deep and buried pain and could not hold her and love her enough. The last day of the class was dedicated to her son and Helen's struggle to hold in her pain. It was a celebration of his and her life. The entire class did not want the connection that they had made to end. Future meetings were arranged informally and formally so that Helen could continue to be supported.
Helen took to this love and nurturing like a fish returned to water. Amazingly, her chronic chest pains resolved over the following weeks. She visibly changed appearing lighter and happier. Her blood pressure and sugar control improved. She was truly transformed. She continued her new open, connecting style over the next months and years. She became an advocate of "opening your emotional heart" with others and participated freely in support groups designed to continually help herself and share the benefit with fellow strugglers.
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