Back before I was liberated (February 25th), I kept myself in denial for much of the time because I could not face having a condition(Multiple Sclerosis) that was not treatable(I did not like the options). I always had a reason for my symptoms: my balance was off because I was weak in the core; my energy was down because I was depressed; I was depressed because I did not like my job. The monologue was endless and spun in my head incessantly.
Now, my life and body are very different. My body is getting stronger and stronger and my balance is getting better and better. The improvements were not instantaneous but have been steady and progressive. I am getting back to me physically. I feel truly blessed. Liberation it was and is.
My mind is still a challenge. I am more than a bit neurotic. I got very used to talking myself into positive thoughts and pushing myself to be positive although I was quite often frustrated, angry, disappointed and down right pissed off. I have always wanted to be positive and upbeat but it got hard during those days, months and years of steady decline. I now have true reason to be positive again. Improving and getting back "in the game" is amazing. However, my mind got very used to struggle and limitation. It tends to feel comfortable in this place.
My challenge now is to be open to possibility and promise again. My dreams for myself and my body are once again possible. If I can only break free of my limited thinking and negative mindset, the world can once again be my friend and my playground. I have been given a second chance. Thank you Paolo Zamboni(the inventor). Thank you Mohsin Saeed(my liberator). Thank you Grace(my wife) who put up with me for what seemed like centuries. Thank you LIFE for the privilege to be back in the game.
Now, my life and body are very different. My body is getting stronger and stronger and my balance is getting better and better. The improvements were not instantaneous but have been steady and progressive. I am getting back to me physically. I feel truly blessed. Liberation it was and is.
My mind is still a challenge. I am more than a bit neurotic. I got very used to talking myself into positive thoughts and pushing myself to be positive although I was quite often frustrated, angry, disappointed and down right pissed off. I have always wanted to be positive and upbeat but it got hard during those days, months and years of steady decline. I now have true reason to be positive again. Improving and getting back "in the game" is amazing. However, my mind got very used to struggle and limitation. It tends to feel comfortable in this place.
My challenge now is to be open to possibility and promise again. My dreams for myself and my body are once again possible. If I can only break free of my limited thinking and negative mindset, the world can once again be my friend and my playground. I have been given a second chance. Thank you Paolo Zamboni(the inventor). Thank you Mohsin Saeed(my liberator). Thank you Grace(my wife) who put up with me for what seemed like centuries. Thank you LIFE for the privilege to be back in the game.
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Judy Butcher