The voice in my head came charging this morning about 4 a.m.. By 7, I was exhausted and thoroughly demoralized. I was just waking up and I felt like the day should be over. "My MS is back". "My veins must be shutting down". "I can't be OK without medicine". "Grace doesn't love me". I took the dogs for a short walk. I tripped and fell at the exact moment that I was thinking "I am not going to let this old voice in my head rule my life". I almost got in a car accident when I pulled out of a street and a car appeared out of nowhere (it was obviously there but I never saw it).
Now, it's 9:30 a.m. and I am back awake and alive. The demons were pouring out of me for the last 5 hours but now they are quiet again.
Can I stay awake? Can I strengthen "the witness" who can see my dark side (the voice in my head) and shut him up. The battle rages on. Another day, another chance to be present to this one great life.
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