Yesterday, I wrote of trying to get to a place of equanimity -- a state of emotional balance and quiet. This is a very desirable goal, of course. Meditation, prayer, yoga, Tai Chi and Xi Gong, exercise are all good avenues leading to this desired outcome.
However, and this is a BIG however, there is a major chasm to cross on the path to this wonderful place. How do we deal with the difficult emotions which are inherent to the human condition and which rob us of our peace? Anger, injustice, guilt, shame, sadness, powerlessness, fear are very real human feelings and the majority of us do NOT have any idea how to work with these painful states let alone how to guide them through us so that they don't get stuck in our bodies and psyches.
No one teaches these absolutely critical skills. In fact, the overriding concept is that we should not have them. Spiritually, we are taught in nearly all traditions to "let go", "forgive", "release" these states into the cosmos. Noble but ? possible or realistic?
Physically, we can release a lot of negative emotion. Rigorous exercise, boxing, martial arts and persistent, intense exertion all provide relief from internal strife. I would never discourage these. However, what about the true and real release of these powerful, negative states? How can we really release the suffering that tears us up inside and is drawn to us the more we hold onto it?
The answer is in our voice and our face to face interactions with the sources of our rage, powerlessness and fear. Here is the real opportunity to set ourselves free. As humans, we are the one species (so far) to have evolved to the point of being able to express ourselves and hear the expressions of our fellow beings. We possess the opportunity to hear and be heard; to work out issues. We can stick up for ourselves and for truth and justice.
The problem is that most of us learned quite clearly in our childhoods that expression of anger would not be tolerated. Further, tears were not appropriate or accepted. We learned that shame and guilt were our clothes to wear. As a result, too many of us, live inside of ourselves, paralyzed by our negative emotions and trapped by our fear. This is the challenge of our lives: expressing our truth; letting our true selves be known; breaking through our fear and connecting in a genuine way with our fellow human-beings even if we feel that they do not respect or value us. We have to "come to the plate" for the sake of our own power and health. Once we do this, we are free.
However, and this is a BIG however, there is a major chasm to cross on the path to this wonderful place. How do we deal with the difficult emotions which are inherent to the human condition and which rob us of our peace? Anger, injustice, guilt, shame, sadness, powerlessness, fear are very real human feelings and the majority of us do NOT have any idea how to work with these painful states let alone how to guide them through us so that they don't get stuck in our bodies and psyches.
No one teaches these absolutely critical skills. In fact, the overriding concept is that we should not have them. Spiritually, we are taught in nearly all traditions to "let go", "forgive", "release" these states into the cosmos. Noble but ? possible or realistic?
Physically, we can release a lot of negative emotion. Rigorous exercise, boxing, martial arts and persistent, intense exertion all provide relief from internal strife. I would never discourage these. However, what about the true and real release of these powerful, negative states? How can we really release the suffering that tears us up inside and is drawn to us the more we hold onto it?
The answer is in our voice and our face to face interactions with the sources of our rage, powerlessness and fear. Here is the real opportunity to set ourselves free. As humans, we are the one species (so far) to have evolved to the point of being able to express ourselves and hear the expressions of our fellow beings. We possess the opportunity to hear and be heard; to work out issues. We can stick up for ourselves and for truth and justice.
The problem is that most of us learned quite clearly in our childhoods that expression of anger would not be tolerated. Further, tears were not appropriate or accepted. We learned that shame and guilt were our clothes to wear. As a result, too many of us, live inside of ourselves, paralyzed by our negative emotions and trapped by our fear. This is the challenge of our lives: expressing our truth; letting our true selves be known; breaking through our fear and connecting in a genuine way with our fellow human-beings even if we feel that they do not respect or value us. We have to "come to the plate" for the sake of our own power and health. Once we do this, we are free.
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