Skip to main content

Peace

For many people, their main goal is to find peace. This takes many forms: some just want to sleep well, others want to be free from worry, others wish to be able to be "comfortable in their own skin" (to be themselves). For others, relief of physical symptoms is the goal. Many of the syndromes of modern medicine stem from the absence of peace. Fibromyalgia, irritable bowel syndrome, chronic fatigue, insomnia, chronic pain syndromes, as well as anxiety and depression are the terms used in modern medicine to attempt to classify the absence of peace in the body. As many people who strive for the goal of peace, there are are also an infinite number of ways to get there. Exercise, prayer, meditation, yoga, nature, and talking with someone who is a good listener are just a few of the paths to find peace. The self-help movement is geared to this goal and literally thousands of books have been written on the subject.Undoubtedly, the rapid pace of the modern world plays a major role in the struggle that so many people face in trying to find peace.

Is there a unifying cure for all this angst? The medical world's solution has been the use of anti-depressants and other pharmaceuticals which usually provide transient relief of symptoms but create the need for dependence on the ongoing use of pharmaceuticals. The spiritual/religious approach is through prayer and surrender to a higher power. Certainly noble and beneficial pursuits but difficult to hold onto in the midst of prolonged challenges. Psychologists have a number of approaches and styles to guide us to accepting ourselves. Many people turn to drugs, cigarrettes, food, alcohol, TV or other compulsive addictions to manage their recurrent distress. These all provide transient relief of symptoms but set up the downward spiraling path of addiction which always takes the individual to a negative place which is difficult to surmount.

The bottom line of an inability to find or maintain peace is that the underlying problem is fear. Fear of something --- financial, emotional rejection, loneliness, not being who or where we want to be, making a mistake --- or just fear of fear.


So what is the opposite of fear? Love. Acceptance. Age old concepts. Boring maybe but true. Love of self and love of others. Acceptance of self and acceptance of others. Why are these so hard to find and maintain? We learn early that we are NOT right, NOT okay, NOT pretty enough, NOT strong enough, NOT good enough. Eventually, we develop an internal voice which shouts these words long after our parents or whoever started the chorus stop the refrain. We become so good at criticizing ourselves that we no longer need a boss or parent or spouse to be our bully (although they may still be chanting the abuse). We can do it better ourselves.

So, herein lies the goal of life. Can we let go of all the negative banter that runs around in our head out of control and unpatrolled? Can we quiet the demons in our minds that insist that we are less than we should be? Can we let the heroes (love and acceptance) govern our minds rather than the negative forces which want so much to rule our minds and lives?

So, if we decide to let love rule and to finally accept ourselves in spite of our mistakes and imperfections, what is the mechanism for allowing this shift from self-rejection to self-love? It is one thing. It is as old a tool as man itself. It was in the Bible. Forgiveness. Forgiving ourselves. Letting go of our grievances with ourselves and others. Nothing has to be said to anyone else. We just have to make peace within ourselves. We have to forgive ourselves. We have to let the light that wants to shine on us shine. The only way to bring on the peace and the light is to stop the war with ourselves. Peace comes when the war ends and the only way to end the war is to forgive. And we have to forgive ALL the time.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Connecting to the World

This is a picture from the Eucalyptus Grove At UCSD -- my dogs' favorite walk. Upon our return from our adventure, I read this from Buddhist psychologist, Rick Hanson. I really resonate with this aspect of connection. Connecting is in 3 directions -- inside with oneself, with others and with the world. When we strengthen one direction, we simultaneously strengthen our general connection. This is guidance to connect more deeply with the world. What makes you feel connected? I'd like to know.   Are we really so separate? The Practice   Love the world. Why?   Your brain evolved in three stages (to simplify a complex process): Reptile - Brainstem, focused on AVOIDING harm Mammal - Limbic system, focused on APPROACHING rewards Primate - Cortex, focused on ATTACHING to "us" With a fun use (to me, at least) of animal themes, the first JOT in this series -  pet the lizard  - was about how to soothe the most ancient structures of the brain

A Guest Post from Jenna Walters

Tai Chi for Health Tai Chi is a secret weapon in the battle against the physical and mental demands of life. It has been able to help improve health in individuals with illnesses ranging from peritoneal mesothelioma to migraines . Its quiet and slow movements bring a calm balance to the mind. It also brings strength and balance to the body. Tai Chi demands very little from its participants. The focus is on body awareness and deep breathing. Its stretching is soft and fluid and its movements are low-impact. Young, old, athletic, or the rehabilitating can all gain better health with Tai Chi. Studies have shown that Tai Chi improves physical health . Although the movements are slow and require no added weight, those that practice Tai Chi become stronger in both upper and lower body. There is also proof that flexibility and balance are improved. The fact that the gentleness of this exercise has such positive results makes it perfect for the unfit, the elderly and for those recovering f

Becoming Aware

In doing the work that I am so happy to be doing at Pando Health Groups, I have become acutely aware of the painful, demeaning,  limiting and downright cruel thoughts that people carry around and repeatedly tell themselves. Amazingly successful, intelligent and gifted people continually return to a dark and very negative image of themselves that is not based on current reality or supported by their current performance, relationships or modern lives. However, the tape is still playing. Worse yet, the tape hurts them deep down and affects all that they care about, desire and create. It takes away energy. It zaps power and limits potential. It creates misery and suffering. It, too often, makes their lives stay "stuck in the groove on the record". This tape can be turned off (or destroyed) but for too many it keeps raising its head when circumstances replicate past wounds or when there is an ongoing, overpowering, loud voice that just keeps breaking into one's hea