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WHY

So why did I write those last 8 entries. What are they for? What am I trying to say? do?

For over 15 years, I have felt a burning desire to be a part of changing the medical paradigm. It dates back to when I had the opportunity to work with the Dean Ornish Program for Reversing Heart Disease when it was offered at Scripps. I had the good fortune to learn about leading the groups(one of the 4 components of the program). Dr. Jim Billings taught me and all the members of our team. It was an extremely profound experience for me -- life changing. I was blown away by the power and emotion of the experience. He was a true master leader and had a profound effect on all of us as well as the heart patients. People opened their hearts in the group like I had never witnessed people do and we the students opened our hearts. The benefit to me was monumental. The benefits to the heart patients was truly liberating. It was so moving to witness a scared, frail heart patient first brave the experience and then be surrounded by love from all directions. Amazingly enough, this along with the other aspects of the program(healthy diet, exercise and meditation and yoga) led to true healings. People who were crippled by their symptoms got well.

Our team then went back to San Diego and delivered the program ourselves. We saw similar amazing results. In addition, the patients who could not "open" their emotional hearts did not get well. From my perspective, the other more popular parts of the program(the vegetarian diet, regular exercise and the stress management techniques) did not seem to correlate with outcomes nearly as well. For me, it was all about the group process--the ability to open the emotional heart and share oneself with others in an open, honest way and break through the walls that separate us.

I then brought this concept to my internal medicine practice. Scripps was experimenting with "shared medical appointments". I jumped at the opportunity. I had 3 different senior groups of 10-15 patients each. We selected patients based on a perception that they needed "more" than standard office visits. These people had similar experiences to the Ornish groups. They loved the experience and their health improved. We bonded in these monthly sessions and the connection carried on throughout the month. I enjoyed these groups enormously. I only wanted more of the same.

I have subsequently become "stuck" in my work-life. I cannot see the point in continuing medical practice "the old way". I have always felt that I have seen the light--connection is the vital ingredient that elderly, infirm patients need more than medicine, technological solutions, or any other therapy. In my mind, connection is the answer to the "healthcare crisis"; we are treating patients with modern medicine and what they need is old-fashioned love and attention.

I have subsequently left my medical practice(several times) always with the intention of bringing this paradigm shift to a hungry world. However, my naivety, lack of entrepreneurial skills, and fear have rendered me quite powerless in my quest. I have been and continue to be disappointed and let down that this form of medical care has not blossomed in the world. It does exist but the movement is slow and plodding.

Now again, there is talk of change. There is an awareness that "chronic disease" is what is killing our health care system which is attempting to manage "chronic" conditions with a therapeutic approach that is designed for "acute" care. I have the good fortune to get to attend a meeting this coming weekend that will be addressing these issues and plans to provide advice and guidance to congress and President Obama regarding the future of health care delivery.

I am elated to be a part of a change force. I want to be part of the solution. I realize that I have let connection and a new way of being in our health system become an unhealthy obsession for me. I want to be with people again and help usher in a parallel tract in our system that will compliment our magnificent "acute" delivery model. I have become isolated by my refusal to acclimate to the current state of our system. I want back on the team but I want the team to change and be the healing force it can be. I pray from the bottom of my heart that my world opens again and the health system opens its heart and mind to its possible greatness.

My 8 image with its surrounding 8 principles (love, forgiveness, hope/faith, connection/community, peace, gratitude, nourishment and movement) is my way of illuminating the path to health (which I have defined as living with energy, freedom and authenticity). I fully realize this is just a conception but I sincerely hope we can get our health system moving in a healthier direction in the very near future. We all deserve it.

Comments

Excellent. Well and clearly written.
Namaste'

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