Yesterday, my Del Mar Senior Health Forum met for our regularly scheduled bi-monthly meeting. We started as we routinely do with Tai Chi and Xi Gong led by Matt Szymczak for the first 30 minutes. This was followed by a 10 minute meditation also led by Matt. These 2 activities are both enjoyed by our group and provide a calm center for us to start our group interaction and discussion.
We then proceeded into our conversation of the day. In the past, we used this time for educational lectures on a variety of topics related to aging, working through the health challenges of the senior years and creating a "good" end of life but over the last several sessions, we have left the educational/teaching format behind and have ventured into open, interactive dialogue exploring the concept of emotional connection. All members of the group are encouraged to participate but are not required to do so. We are attempting to get out of using our time as an intellectual pursuit of knowledge and moving toward an experiential, bonding experience (out of our heads and into our hearts).
The group is truly a remarkable group of human-beings who are taking to this new style and approach and embracing it. Yesterday was remarkable in a number of different ways. People were very open, honest and real. There were not any efforts to "fix" anybody with quick suggestions. Most everyone in the group spoke and spoke from their hearts and not just their thoughts. True feelings were verbalized and shared. One member expressed frustration with a situation in her life that she did not know how to handle and the group was open to her struggle and helpful in taking her away from a defensive, reactive position to a more compassionate and tolerant approach. Each and every one seemed able to empathize with the difficulty and gravity of the situation and refrained from trying to "fix" her or her relationship to the situation. It was simply a safe place for her to work through very difficult and intense emotional feelings.
Another member shared something that she had felt guilty about for many years (actually decades). Again, no one tried to take away her pain but genuine empathy seemed to fill the room and I believe and hope that the "bottled up" negative feeling that she had held inside for so long was processed in a different way with a slightly different perspective. The situation was not altered but hopefully her relationship shifted just a little bit or enough to give her a bit of peace with it.
In all, we covered enormous territory in my opinion. The room feels "safe" and that makes all the difference. These brave warriors have had amazing lives and sharing themselves with each other seems to bring about a warmth that, too often, is just not available in "regular" life.
The goal of it all -- the meditation, tai chi and xi gong, and the group interaction is peace. Peace in their minds and peace in their bodies. I truly believe we are on the right path.
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