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Questions

So much of education is the passing of facts and information. This, of course, is important and useful. However, education and gaining more knowledge is actually a very small part of the healing and growth processes. The medical system does not operate from this perspective. In medicine, the practice is usually "can we fix you?"(pharmaceuticals or procedures) or can we teach you something that will lead you to change (diabetes education, nutrition, smoking cessation, exercise prescriptions, physical therapy).

There is another way. By asking questions and allowing answers to come up without judgment or effort to forcefully change people, there is a space created that allows the individual to rise up in their own time and own way. Questions and genuine curiosity thus allow for a different and more effective vehicle for change and movement. The medical system, in general, is very authoritative and controlling. "Do it our way" is generally the motto. You should weigh this amount; you should not smoke.In my experience, this breeds resistance and is generally ineffective.

Real, persistent and healthy change does NOT evolve out of authoritarian advice. People change when their beliefs change and their beliefs change when they become aligned with a new perception that "feels" more true and more real than their previous belief. By asking open-ended questions and allowing time and space for reflection and true, heartfelt response, we open a door to changing perception and beliefs. By interacting in a non-judgmental and open way, people relax into a space of possibility. This is infinitely more effective than telling people what they should be doing. This is what happens in groups with one's peers. When we don't feel judged and we do feel seen and respected, people open, soften and CAN change.

By approaching medical or lifestyle challenges from a non-authoritarian, more supportive stance, we can open the door for health, healing and growth to evolve. Questions are the way in. Questions allow for conversation, communication and connection. Questions make people feel safe, cared for, understood and respected. This is what we all want and need. Questions change everything.  

Comments


Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.

Voltaire
Mark Kalina, MD said…
That's a good one. Thank you--couldn't agree more. Mk

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