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Becoming Aware

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In doing the work that I am so happy to be doing at Pando Health Groups, I have become acutely aware of the painful, demeaning,  limiting and downright cruel thoughts that people carry around and repeatedly tell themselves. Amazingly successful, intelligent and gifted people continually return to a dark and very negative image of themselves that is not based on current reality or supported by their current performance, relationships or modern lives. However, the tape is still playing. Worse yet, the tape hurts them deep down and affects all that they care about, desire and create. It takes away energy. It zaps power and limits potential. It creates misery and suffering. It, too often, makes their lives stay "stuck in the groove on the record".

This tape can be turned off (or destroyed) but for too many it keeps raising its head when circumstances replicate past wounds or when there is an ongoing, overpowering, loud voice that just keeps breaking into one's head. How to turn off this noise may be the true secret to life and freedom.

Realizing that we are not that voice and that it is not accurate or applicable to the current moment is our ticket to freedom. This is awareness. Some people come upon this naturally. Some people "get it" when they come into relationship with an enlightened teacher or counselor or group. The majority live long lives victimized by their own voices that evolved from wounds received in early childhood or young adulthood. They may still live full, active lives but the dark voice makes them blind to their own beauty and wonderful gifts they hold inside and limits their capacity for happiness and joy and peace.

We are all mirrors for each other and the relationships we enter into provide a great opportunity to hear and recognize this unhealthy voice we carry inside (and project outward). Coming out of our heads and into our bodies' deeper awareness and intelligence also serves to shine a light on this dark, blind spot inside us. The combination of open, real communication and dropping into our centers (out of our heads) is the path to waking up and ending this self-destructive noise.

What tape are you re-playing? How long are you going to hold onto it and let it hold you back?

Recognizing the voice, facing it (and deciding if it is really true) and committing to not let the voice be our guiding light begins our path to freedom, power and health.


Comments

Michael McCafferty said…
How does one know if they are playing some tape that is destructive?
April 24, 2013 at 4:58 PM
Mark Kalina, MD said…
Good question -- If one is plagued by recurrent themes in the manifestations of their life, then it can be deduced that they are living with a destructive belief(s). For example, "I am not lovable", "I am not enough", "I am worthless", "I should not express my true thoughts and feelings". These thoughts have been associated with disapproval in the past and the fear of similar disapproval now runs their life. If the manifestations of one's life are leading to unhappiness, limitation, fear, etc; it usually comes from a wounding belief that one is holding onto.
April 24, 2013 at 6:45 PM
Michael McCafferty said…
Do people obsessively have such thoughts and in those words, or could it be that they don't consciously think that way, but just Act that way out of habit?
April 24, 2013 at 6:52 PM
Mark Kalina, MD said…
Those thoughts are never conscious. They are deeply unconscious and show up in peoples' behaviors, actions, choices without them being aware of why.

The cure is bringing the light of consciousness to the darkness. The light most commonly comes from relationship and connection with others (our mirrors).
April 24, 2013 at 10:44 PM
Michael McCafferty said…
OK, I got it now.
So what sort of behaviors are presented by people who are playing these destructive tapes?

How can we know if someone we know/love/live with is dealing with this sort of condition?
April 25, 2013 at 10:47 AM
Mark Kalina, MD said…
Great follow-up question. Thank you. People who are stuck in old wounds often have addictions (to food or substances or emotional patterns which "numb" their negative emotions) and cannot seem to get on track with healthy lifestyles although they may frequently try to "start fresh". They might have behavioral patterns that sabotage their goals (like acting out of anger inappropriately or retreating into sadness and/or isolation) when they are triggered by someone who reminds them of their parental figures. They might also be stuck in recurrent situations (bad jobs or relationships) or get trapped by a chronic illness. In short, everyone comes out of childhood with wounds but some people get stuck. Looking at the "living symbols" in your life (the manifestations and creations) is the clue to whether these wounds are holding you back from living a happy, healthy life.
April 25, 2013 at 1:18 PM
Michael McCafferty said…
That sounds like a lot of people I know!
April 25, 2013 at 3:14 PM
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