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One Last Comment on Vulnerability

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\ vul•ner•a•ble: capable of being physically or emotionally wounded or being open to attack or damage. \

My last 2 posts have featured Brene Brown and her work on vulnerability and shame. The feedback I received was not surprising -- vulnerability is weakness or openness to being hurt. This cannot be desirable. 

The problem is that the dictionary definition above addresses physical vulnerability not emotional vulnerability. Different animals. Of course, we don't want to be physically weak or open to being physically hurt. However, it is desirable to be emotionally vulnerable. Why? When we are emotionally vulnerable (or open and real), we do not hide any part of ourselves. We are who we are. We are authentic. While this can be and is scary, it is the route to real power and strength. Because when we don't have anything to hide, we are free. There is no facade to protect; no imperfection or weakness to be embarrassed about or to hide. 

What does this look like in real life. If I am open about my insecurities -- I am sensitive; I have struggled to find my passion and reason-to-be; I am technologically challenged -- then, I am free and "the real me" is out on the table and I can now connect with myself and the world from a genuine place. This is different than being physically vulnerable. I leave nothing hidden and therefore, there is nothing in need of protection or defense. This is real power and strength and boldness. It is the opposite of weakness. It is freedom regardless of physical status or how we feel that day. It is self love and acceptance which really is the goal. 

Comments

Michael McCafferty said…
Actually the dictionary definition cited refers to physical OR emotional hurt. See above.

The word "vulnerability" is an unfortunate choice, in my humble opinion, when much more acceptable and even pleasurable options exist for the same thought.

Strength and healing through openness is the positive result being sought, while vulnerability is a state most people want to avoid.

I'm not a doctor, of course, however I do a lot of experience as a coach/mentor to CEOs and entrepreneurs who have issues with building their businesses, and many of them have similar emotional challenges to those Pando addresses.

It may be that the focus is on the problem and not the solution. Consider the concept of Appreciative Inquiry (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Appreciative_inquiry as a way to focus on what is working instead of what is broken.
June 20, 2013 at 12:09 PM
Michael McCafferty said…
The word "vulnerable" may very well be the correct medical/psychological term for a state that occurs on the way to healing... My observation is not a criticism of any technical term, rather a suggestion that it may limit the success of the business of healing others because it describes a negative state rather than the desired result.
June 20, 2013 at 12:23 PM
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